I’ll keep the change, thanks.

What follows is pure editorial and I don’t mean to sound like sour grapes but I’ve gotta say it. There would be no Verizon buying AOL today without AOL’s remaining 2 million subscribers – because without those subscribers AOL would no longer exist. That’s right: if 2 million people had cancelled AOL in a more timely fashion you wouldn’t be reading this. Verizon probably would’ve bought Yahoo! because there’d be no AOL left to buy, and I’d be very happy because the sale to Verizon is shaping up to be a disaster.

But nooooo, AOL’s infamous retention schemes, among other problems, have resulted in them getting what they wanted, which was a way to finance their new ventures into selling ads and owning content producers such as TechCrunch, Huffington Post and Engadget – which resulted in me not getting what I wanted, which was for every last paying member of AOL to cancel their accounts.

This is the blog of someone who, 10 years ago, could not cancel a free trial of AOL so she started a blog about it. At the time, AOL had about 15 million subscribers. That is a lot. Thanks in part to blunders such as this can’t cancel fiasco, along with the fact that high speed broadband, DSL and phones and tablets with 3G, 4G and wifi connections actually do exist these days and can be rather affordable, AOL has shed about 13 million more people. For this I’m thankful. But not thankful enough, because 2 million of you have stuck around long enough to enable the disaster of Verizon buying AOL and I can’t get over why anyone would give AOL money if they didn’t absolutely have to. And almost none of you absolutely have to.

To get the “absolutely have to” part out of the way, yes, I understand that for a tiny percentage of subscribers, you have no choice. You live out in Appalachia or out on the prairie – or else you’re of the mindset that you’ve only ever used AOL and you kind of like it and you definitely don’t want to switch now. At least you’ve got something that works where you are, that you fully understand how to use. Great.

But for the rest of you, you probably have not been doing one of a few things, like checking your credit or debit card statements for unauthorized charges from AOL long after you thought you cancelled your dial-up service. Or else you’ve chosen not to cancel AOL, knowing they still bill you every month, because you think you need AOL to get online – but you really don’t, not if you already have a broadband or DSL connection coming into your home or business. And do you seriously think you need AOL for “back-up Internet”? Brilliant marketing ploy from a dying Internet giant, perhaps, but no, seriously, you don’t.

So Cancel AOL Already!!! OMG!!!

The remaining 2 million subscribers are – again – the only reason AOL makes money. If it was only a matter of AOL servicing remote areas or how everyone’s 90 year old grandma has used AOL since 1992 and can’t stop now, AOL would’ve gone out of business a long time ago. The 2 million remaining subscribers are the only thing keeping AOL afloat. And with AOL being sold to Verizon, these subscribers are financing a possible consumer privacy disaster, a serious threat to net neutrality, and a likely throttling of true editorial freedom. Maybe, if you’re a paying subscriber, you could think about what your money is financing before you pay AOL again.

Two million subscribers back in AOL’s heyday of having upwards of 25 million or more was – once upon a time – an acknowledged rounding error where the total amount of subscribers could be higher or lower by about that many people. No one knew for sure. But now that 2 million subscribers is all they’ve got, that’s one rounding error I’ll gladly keep the change on, thanks.

So folks, let’s get started…

Here’s a list of internet providers that are not AOL which provide dial-up. Here’s a list of providers that offer DSL. Here’s a list of broadband providers. Your task right now? Sign up with a provider that services your area, that you like the sound of and that you know you can easily afford. Once you’ve got that out of the way…here’s how to cancel AOL. Got that all done? Here’s how to get AOL’s stuff off of your computer.