You can CANN spam, too – just quit AOL.

Junk mail on AOL

Members of AOL fight a constant battle with spam, especially if they don’t know how to fiddle with the “Spam Control” buttons on their inboxes. The printed version of the spam they’re mercilessly bombarded with each year would have to be measured in tons. This article from ZWire (page no longer exists) outlines how the author deleted 51 spam messages from his ad-strewn AOL inbox in just one hour and the funny thing is, he makes it sound like that’s just a typical day for him over in AOHell, which I escaped perdition from myself not too long ago. Think about it. He gets 51 spams in one hour. I use EarthLink and I don’t get 51 spams in one year.

Let’s do the math. Assuming the amount of spam he receives remains constant, it adds up quick: 51 x 24 hours = 1,224 spams a day, 8,568 spams a week, for an outlandish grand total of 445,536 spams a year. Wonder if he’s glad he’s a member of AOL now? Better not tell him about my article; we wouldn’t want him canceling over it.

Yet over the years people leaving AOL made such a huge fuss over the mere thought of losing their aol.com addresses that the wailing and gnashing of teeth became unbearable for AOL to endure a moment longer. After 12 years of locking members out of inboxes when they canceled, now they can keep their addresses no matter what, but why does anyone want to hang onto one of those suckers? Why let gross sentimentality win out over cool logic and reason?